A declaration of war between exes should never occur. They do not get the brunt of the lost battle; the children do. Enmity between two divorced couples starts at the break up of the marriage and ends up with the destruction of either parent in the child’s eyes.
Alienation Defined
To fully understand what alienation means, let us try do define it as experts do. Alienation is a phenomenon becomes severely loyal to the parent and seeks to delineate the other. These events usually happen in extremely volatile divorces. In intense cases the child will refuse to see, talk or to have anything to do with the alienated parent. There arises a rooted anger with no apparent reason. The child then will actively help the other parent to hurt, demean and be little the other party.
It is critical that you report any such aforementioned events to an unbiased person such as a social worker. They have professional experience and can provide intervention if they deem it necessary.
The Inner Running of A Child’s Mind
No matter how you put it, a child is often sympathetic with the mother. If the child is allowed to see the mother shed tears then the mom will harvest pity and thereby first implant the unintentional seed of alienation.
The tendency to become alienated depends on your child’s personality. However, a kid is still a kid. There glasses are still half full. They can fully rationalize events. Particularly those that appear confusing and hurting to them. The reason for the alienation comes from within the family system itself prior to the divorce. Factors such as sibling system, the extended family’s attitude, both parents towards each other and towards the kid all have an impact on the upcoming incidents after divorce.
Recognizing The Danger
If your wife gets primary custody you have to be on the look out should your ex alienate your kid or kids against you. If you notice your child’s sudden unreasonable anger or hatred then there could be something there. Children have the tendency to reflect the animosity the alienating parent projects. If your kid refuses or makes excuses not to visit then you have to put this in a s a symptom. Sheer hatred and utter destruction is the target of a severely alienated child, other signs will immediately be noticeable. If so take action as soon as possible.
Can Someone Help?
Although alienators, and their kids do not have the fear of repercussion from a legal sense, family court can help you. The first thing you have to do is to observe the child’s behavior and pinpoint the problem attitude. Intervene as early as possible. Beware of the other party’s attorney.
Do not allow delayed tactics to be used against you. Request the courts that the alienating parent be ordered into therapy even before the settlement of the visitation or custody rights. Request that the court be stringent by making a Guardian Ad Litem check whether your ex wife complies with the court order. Lastly, if the child is severely abhorrent to you as his or her father then ask that the kid be placed in therapy also.
As a divorced dad it is essential that you prevent alienation, and try to avoid doing so. It not only benefits the children but both the ex couple as well.
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