The ending of divorce is not fun, and going through it is even nastier. Getting on with one’s life after a divorce is difficult but not impossible. Resilience and a sincere approach is all that’s needed to stop wallowing in loneliness and get a life!
What Moving On Means
Although dating and finding someone new is part of the moving on process, it should not be the a guy’s first priority. If the reason for the divorce is not third party on your side, then seeing someone new immediately right after the dissolution of your marriage not only reeks of desperation, but also creates another potentially problematic situation.
Moving on means being able to treat your ex in a civil manner, If she insists on being irrational and acting like a petty child then take the high road. Focus on the problem at hand like the kids. Avoid altercations about what could have been because there’s nothing you can do about it anymore. Make a clean break, start new with your ex try and be friend her.
Can You Become Friends With Your Ex?
Of course you can! Look at Demi Moore and Bruce Willis??? But Seriously … When the decision to separate is mutual or as long as there’s no cheating on either parties being friends with your ex wife again won’t be that hard. However if the reason for the break up was that you cheated on her, then she’d probably slam the door on you, and you know you deserve it. If that is the case, give her time to heal. Be nice, show or tell her that you know what you did was wrong, but don’t be too nice that she’ll think you want to get back together.
How To Show Her That You Want To Be Friends
People don’t expect you to be chummy with your ex. being in a harmonious relationship with her is important when you have kids, because no matter what other people say divorced parents can still give their children a somewhat normal way of life.
The difficult part of trying to effect a reconciliation is that it can be misconstrued as wanting to be married again. The key to dispelling this misunderstanding is communication. Show your ex that you work better together as friends than as a couple. An acknowledgement of mistakes made on both your parts will definitely make things a whole lot easier. When presented with an obstacle particularly on the issue of finances and custody learn to compromise and take a deep breath when your tempers rise.
A Few More Reminders
As you try to establish a sense of normality in your life as a family but separate individuals, you just might be able to find happiness. Focus on your children. Ask them what and how they feel, do this together with your ex.
If you and your ex are doing one of “your talks” make sure that you two are not in an intimate situation, keep the kids within earshot. Avoid romantic situations because you both might reminisce and get carried away. This will harm your progress.
Try and take to heart the reminders above. Drama is not healthy for the soul and for the heart. Think about it, did you like those lonely holidays alone in a hotel, your kids at your old house having fun?
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