Divorced dads often worry about visitation because of the short time that they spend with their kids. These times are very limited, and for a father, even a whole day is not enough to spend with your own kid. This is different than living in one house and having all the time in the world playing or talking to one’s children, a lot different than a divorced dad, it is much like calling your dentist for an appointment. This may not be easy for other dads out there, so here are some tips on how to ease the tension when visiting.
Take it one step at a time
Do not rush to your kids all at once. Things may be awkward at first, but eventually all these awkwardness fades away. Just give yourself time to gel with the kids. Patience plays a big factor with this one.
Plan your day
What you can do is plan ahead of time before your visit. Consider this as your weekend with the kids. You can take them hiking or camping, or any outdoor events that \all of you could enjoy. Teach your kids to fish or go birdwatching. Remember, this is your time to bond with them.
Be spontaneous
Some kids may have planned their day with their dad ahead also, so one should be spontaneous. Letting the kids manage your time together is another way to ease the tension that surrounds the father as well as the children. This way, you could get to know the likes and dislikes of the children.
As a father, you can invite your kids over your house for the weekend. Note that you should let them feel at home, be sensitive in knowing that they may feel a little awkward because of the different surroundings or house rules compared to where they are living. The last thing on your mind is to give them a new set of rules all at once. Just focus on the children’s needs when they are with you.
There also comes a time when kids come to an age where they resist seeing you on visitation day or they do not like the woman you are with, just ease up and let time take its toll. It may not be an easy task but this is part of the process. Letting them know that you understand and that you are always there for them and how much love them would instill in their minds, time heals all wounds, and in time as they grow they will understand the circumstances.
Being a divorced dad does not mean you are not a father anymore. You may not be a husband anymore, but you are still a father. Just let the children know that it may have not worked out with you and their mother, but your relationship with them is still the same and would never change. Let them understand that you have nothing but unconditional love for them. Let the children know that no matter what, you are still their father and that you are always there when they need you, to support them in their endeavors. Though you may live far apart, let them know that your love is unconditional and that they always have you to confide to.
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