Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Divorced Dads And Holidays

Holidays are hard not only for the kids but for the divorced parents also. It is even more difficult for the father. In the advent of the divorce it is usually the dad who leaves the home and getting back in there is not only awkward but a little hard; it’s not your territory anymore.

Divide and Conquer

Discuss with your ex wife scheduling. Include the children and ask for their opinion on the matter, plan activities that you can all spend in a neutral territory. Try not to overcompensate by giving your children an over abundance of gifts. Gifts won’t make the situation easier. What’s more it will only spoil your children.

Make it easier for the kids by going shopping together. Help them pick gifts for their mom and the new step dad. Shopping is usually girls bonding time, by doing this your children will see that you are really making an effort to be with them.

Quality Time

Even the most trivial things make for fun activities. Involve the kids on stuff like writing greeting cards, licking the envelope close and sticking on the stamp will make them feel like you need them. Gift wrapping also makes for a great activity.

If you live somewhere that has snow use this as an opportunity to have a great time. Play around. Snow ball fights, toboggan, skiing, snowboarding or building a snowman could be a nice bonding time.

Another way to spend some quality time with the children during the holidays is by filling the house with decorations. Find the perfect Christmas tree for the house, it is also recommended that you bring them along and let them choose the tree themselves, decorating the Christmas tree with the kids is a fun experience for divorced dads. This can also help you connect with the children after going through all the mishaps that divorce brings.

Showing them that you care

During the holidays, giving the kids gifts is a way to show kids that you love them, but writing them Christmas cards is a way of showing them how much you love them and letting them know that despite it did not work out with you and their mom, you are showing them that your relationship with them will always be the same. Writing them cards for them to read on Christmas day is way better than giving material things. It is showing them what you feel deep inside and letting them know that they are always in your heart.

Day out with the kids

Holidays can be very lonely for divorced dads, which is why it is nice to plan a day out with the kids. You can plan a road trip with them, visiting their grandparents. Being on the road with your children is also a nice way to bond with them once again. Ask them to plan the trip with you can excite the kids, ask them where they want to go to spend their day with their father.

Bring along your cameras to document the special day you have with them for all of you to cherish. When the kids are all grown up, they can look back on these pictures and videos of you with them, by this time they understand that despite their parents are divorced, they still have a father in you.

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