Sunday, March 25, 2012

Q&A: NC military divorce question?

Question by : NC military divorce question? My husband and I first agreed to work out our settlement in a civil manner. This was before I found he's sent/received 342 text messages to/from a girl he's been also secretly emailing and calling. She was a problem three and a half years ago. He swears up and down this hasn't gone on during our entire 4 years of marriage, but he also lied to my face three days ago, trying to say the text I saw where he told her about our divorce before he even told me was my mind playing tricks on me. (I know, right?) Right now, he's telling me I will get nothing in the divorce, and he's been seeing legal on base. I was not in this marriage for money, but now I need to make sure I don't walk away with nothing. He currently wants to give me one piece of furniture & get me out of his life. I don't want his retirement, appliances, the house, his car...However, things have changed and I want as much as I can get. I currently have no job and can't even afford an attorney, so the possibility of him getting everything seems so much more realistic. Has anyone gone through a similar divorce? I just want to know if you were told the same thing & then it changed in the actual divorce. I just want it to be clear I didn't know about the other girl before the divorce or before things were "civil." So, yes, things have changed. I really don't want his retirement or pension...I just want everything else I can get. I don't want to walk away with nothing when HE is the one that's been doing wrong for 4 years. I DO NOT want his pension. I just want goods gathered during marriage: car, my part of the house, etc. Military or not, you don't get to stay married for 4 years and be, "Oh, well, see ya, you're only getting your clothes." I AM eligible for a portion of his retirement according to civilian AND base lawyers, but I don't want it & won't go for it. That's the last clarification about that...I'm not a gold digger. I'm just not letting someone treat me like trash & then take everything I have worked for, too. Just because I don't have a job NOW doesn't mean I haven't had a good reason not to, and it doesn't mean I haven't worked all the other 3 years of our marriage. Best answer:

Answer by The Big J
Let me get this straight... you were gonna be all cool, and get separated and such... your relationship was over... done, finished. But now that you find out he lied about another detail (not the first you state) you are all pissed and want to try and take him to the cleaners? Let the past be the past... don't let vengeance make you stoop to his level. Karma is a bitch, and he will get his. That girl he was cheating on you with sounds like the best vengeance you are gonna get too. Hope they hook up and she leaves him high and dry for the next free lunch out there.

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