Monday, April 30, 2012

Any Wisconsin family court/child custody experts out there?

Question by pinksk8ergal: Any Wisconsin family court/child custody experts out there? Tale as old as time... My new husband is previously divorced with 3 great kids (ages 13, 10, 9). Mom has placement, with dad only getting the kids on his 2 days off/week. Kids constantly complain about their home life and ask when dad is going back to court for new arrangements. We're a little worried because mom is pretty unstable, unreasonable, likes to slap, constantly ranting and raving at the kids and us over petty things, disregarding the divorce stipulations and has a history of bizarre behavior. Dad would like to go back to court for at least 50/50 custody, but his attorney is advising him to wait until the divorce is 2 years old and until he is working 1st shift. I don't know if our situation is favorable to us possibly getting placement or "more" custody. We both work 2nd shift at a PD in the city we live and are home during the day for the kids, the oldest is 13 and if there is a crisis at home, we (and grandparents) can be there in 3 min. Do we have a chance? Best answer:

Answer by Amanda h
So much really depends on the judge. I assume that there was a Guardian ad litem that represented the children and made her recommendation. As such, I would trust that her opinion will not have changed in the recent future, and, the judge will most likely uphold the previous ruling. The reason that you are being advised to wait until you are on first shift is simple: the judge probably won't order the children to go to daycare (or non-biological grandparents) when they could go home to mom. Wisconsin does favor 50/50 placement, and it is usually ordered. If you were to go back to court because of her "behavior issues", you would need to request a psychological evaluation. Your husband and yourself would have to comply, also, and, they are EXPENSIVE. Please remember though, that children at this age complain. They may be complaining to mom about you and your husband as much as complaining to you about her. The children have lived with the mother for 13 years. They have an established home/ routine at her house (good or bad). Judges don't like moving children out of there home, or away from their primary caregiver. However, the older child is of an age where she could talk to the judge and he could consider her opinion. It doesn't mean that he will do what she says, but, he has the option to talk to her about it. Ultimately, I would trust what your attorney says. He is familiar with the case, and, with the judge. Judges tend to have a pattern of rulings, and, if your attorney is competent, he will be able to tell you when to file, or, when you are spinning your wheels. Lastly, I would urge you to keep a record of any erratic or unstable behavior. If you can show a year long log of complaints by the children, her not coming to get them or leaving them for extended periods, or whatever the case may be, it can work in your benefit. Also document what the children are saying may be going on in the home. While you may be the new wife and loving step-mom, (I mean no disrespect when I say this) but, the issue is between mom & dad. Often times well intended step-parents can be seen by judges as trying to undermine the natural parents decisions. I know it is hard to "step back" when you love these kids, but, I suggest you try to. Overbearing (and I don't know you, so, you probably aren't) stepmoms cause more problems than help in court. My sister's attorney and her ex-husbands attorney both suggested that the new spouse stay at home. I have heard several attorneys suggest the same thing. Good luck!

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