Question by ~*Live, Love and Blessed Be*~: Abusive husband files false charges against wife to get temp custody of children? My husband and I have been seperated for nearly two years, but haven't gotten a divorce yet because of finances. I dropped my kids off with him at his parent's house (he's on probation for larceny) to stay with my father for three days until he passed away at his home. That day, he calls me furious because he recieved a letter from NC Child Support Enforcement saying he was $ 2300 behind in support and he would be taken to court if it wasn't paid (and since he was on probation with no job, that means jail). He demanded that I somehow drop the order (I can't because I'm recieving federal assistance- single mother of two who just escaped a domestically violent marriage!) and I explained I'd be more than willing to have it reduced from $ 580 a month to $ 100 a month, just enough for diapers, but that a judge wouldn't drop it completely. He was mad, and said he'd do what he had to do, which I took to mean he'd file a motion to have it dropped. The day of the funeral, I came home to find out he'd taken out a restraining order on me that very same day, alleging that I was suicidal and wanted to kill myself and my children because he wouldn't pay his child support and because my father was dying. (I took his death very well, it was his decision to come off of life support, and I respect that.) These words were never even thought about by me, let alone said. I have witnesses to attest to the conversation about child support and to summarize my "emotional state" throughout that whole week while my father passed. I cannot see or speak to my babies, who are two and three. I go to court Wednesday to defend myself, but because I don't have the money to hire an attorney, I'm afraid I'll lose my babies. This is serious. He has since paid the $ 2300 in back support but the state won't release it because the kids are in his custody now. (The domestic violence order of protection he took out on me gave him emergency custody). Any pointers on how to defend myself? This man was convicted of domestic violence towards me when DSS found bruises all over me when we finally seperated. I don't know what to do, what to expect. I'm so heartbroken- these are children, not a ball to be passed back and forth! Any case studies of abusive men who file false charges against their wives to avoid paying child support? Any help is more than appreciated. MG- Thanks so much. I'm so distraught! There's a hole in my chest where my heart used to be! I tried to get phone records, however, the company won't release them without a court order. It's such a horrible mess. And, I just learned he's accusing me of placing them in an "unsafe sexual environment". He alleges he saw me in a dog cage and practicing bondage in my home. What an outlandish accusation to make against a mother! Caodhen- I've been reading as much. This is insane! I've found a lot of info for men who have been wrongly accused, but none like my situation. I feel bad for men in this situation, I truly do. I hope that written statements from witnesses will be enough. After all, nothing happened, there's nothing to testify to except the fact I'm not suicidal or homicidal. Thanks for the two cents!
Best answer: Answer by MG
First, I have just survived your situation and I know how hard it is! I had joint phys custody but left the state with my children to get away from the domestic abuse and start a new life. My x agreed to the move and said it would be a good break for the kids. He even helped load the Uhaul! After I filed back support he filed a parental abduction on me (even though Id been gone 6 mo). Please know that you can defend yourself, try to stay calm and get witnesses of your mental state and the system will work. Its just so hard when you cant see your babies! The judge will be fair to you and will see what your x was trying to do! Hang in there!!
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